Nithyanandam.

I am from Malaysia.And i was first introduced to swami through a healer nearby my residence.At first,when i was newly introduced,i have to admit i did'nt believe in all these.That was in 2008,when i was 14 years old.Then,i continously went there even when i did'nt know what i suppose to do when the healing is given.As months passed,my mom(a healer now) sent my siblings and i for the ASP programme.By then,i have learnt how to do the meditation and guru pooja.even during that time,i was doing that for the sake of my mom.She was very into swami and i did'nt want to hurt her feelings by going against her in this matter.So,i did whatever i'm suppose to do like attending satsang ,healings and mostly i really enjoyed listening to the songs.During the ASP,i knew that smthing is definitely going to change in me.I felt it but i was unsure what could it be.After the ASP,i still continued going for satsangs and healing.

Then,on the year 2009,when we met another friend of mom's who happened to be a healer as well.She invited us to join a satsang that was held at her place.that's when i really felt swami,i felt as though i was chosen for some reason that will change me totally.i cried there and i was speaking from my heart to him.And i even felt that he's listening.the miracles that happened in that moment is something that i can never forget.those miracles changed my life.I am a stubborn girl,hot -tempered,and am always by myself.suddenly,in a 2 hour session,something that i always though impossible to happen, happened on me!I could feel his presence.That's when all started!

At the end of Disember,my mom said that we're going to india with her friend &family.I was relucant to go because i had my examination results coming and i wanted to be there to take it.My mom did'nt force me,but,little did i know that ,anyhow ,i will be going.The trip to India was 25 days.And as expected,i went.I felt totally lucky because i did my first NSP in Salem!!!Imagine coming all the way from Malaysia and i get to spend four blissful days with swami in India!!.That NSP ment that it would be the fist time i'm seeing swamiji in person.He,the person who i always cry to,always speak to.Attending NSP changed me alot,in so many ways.Some changes which i notice and some that i did'nt notice.The four days experience is something that i could'nt put in words.Right after the NSP,my mom said that we are going for BSP as well!!!And this time,BSP is held in Bidadi Ashram itself!I was eager to go there and spend 9 days in ashram.9 beautiful days!!!In ashram,i had swami's darshan every morning.Even when we travelled from the hotel to ashram every day.

But we,never left the chance to get swami's blessing.I was living in heaven.I spoke to swami ,i got swami's darshan.and we also met the wonderful and always smiling ashramites.i love being with the ashramites as they were completely friendly,easy to talk to and they were just very nice to us.Everytime,during the break when BSP was held,I always ran to the temple and the banyan tree.I 'ld hug Dhakshinamoorthy and tell him that i'll come at the next break.I became a small child in that heavenly place,Bidadi Ashram!!During the morning break,i'ld run to the temple ,pray,sit down and stare at Anandeswarar & Anandeshwari.Then,i'ld visit the banyan tree and Dakshinamoorthy.This was how i was in Ashram for 9 beautiful days.I thought that after BSP,i won't be seeing anymore of swami.but,things happened otherwise,even the elders did'nt plan for it to happen.

It was the Pratyuksha Padha Pooja!!Which ment that i will be seeing swami again! and this time personally.I got very excited.My mom was quite worried b'coz she did'nt bring enough cash.She saved some for luggage purpose at the airport.And she did'nt want to touch it at all.Suddenly,out of the blue,she pulled out some cash with a smiling face.That cash was balance from her previous trip to the U.S. and there was no way that the money could be there.Surprisingly,the cash was just enough to pay for the Padha Pooja.Without delaying,she payed for the pooja.Then,my mom & us, together with a family friend did the pooja for swami.It was heavenly moment .We could feel the energy.After the pooja,swami called us one by one.When it was my turn,he turned and with a motherly smile he asked"what you want to say,ma?'I could feel my heart beat stopped.It was very hard to digest that swami is actually speaking to me personally.That's when a realisation came to me.That swami was actually listening to what i've been saying to him infront of his picture back in Malaysia.

At that time ,i remember asking him lots of questions and raised doubts about him infront of his picture thinking that he's not actually listening.But,when in India,everything he said in NSP and BSP,answered all my questions and doubts.
Thats when all that flashback came to my mind infront of swamiji who's sitting and smiling and waiting for my reply.But,nothing seem to come out of my throat.Without knowing,i just said' Thank you very much swamy'.Then.tears started pouring out.Swamy,like a mother who would calm her child ,hugged me.patted on my back and said 'Don't worry ,ma .I'm always with you".Thats when i felt smthing..something that is just too wonderful....its difficult to put it in words.Then swami gave me a handfull of chocolates.It was the best moments in my life.

Now,when i think back about all those experiences i had with swami in India.my tears start pouring b'coz the person who changed my life completely,is now in a place where he should'nt even be.I am just a very small part from those who have experienced wonders.All i could do is always pray for him to be released.How long can a master be abused?Now,in the millineum world where transformation is necessary,everybody,young or old,all are seeking for spirituality.I do believe that there is never an unanswered prayer.so,all i want to say is for those who is like me...the best thing we could do is atleast pray for him...pray for his release.We need our swami back!!!!Let those who can help him in other way do theirr part...for those like me ,lets pray....God will never turn us down!!!!Its time we do something to save our swami who have done alot..who have sacrificed his life just to save us..!!!nithyanandam....

By,
Kaalushaa Bhaskaran
Malaysia